We Have Dilation!

I just went into the doctor's office after contracting and cramping for two days. They hooked me to the monitor and after like 5 minutes, Dr. Drake (not my usual doctor but I've seen him before) came in since Dr. Cromartie wasn't in and checked my cervix. He was like "Okay! We are about 1 cm and 80% thinned out." He didn't think the machine was picking up my contractions so they moved it around it wasn't really picking them up since I had one (a rather hard one) and it barely showed up. He told me to go home and get some rest I wasn't dilated enough to be admitted to the hospital but he didn't think it would be long. Yay!
My family is freaking out since we haven't even had the baby shower yet but I so don't care I am so ready to have my baby here in my arms! They gave me a presciption of Tylenol 3 and I took 2 about an hour ago and it isn't really helping in the pain department but it is making me more relaxed. Contractions are now about 6-7 minutes apart have been for several hours so i have the feeling I am starting down a long and painful road yet I find myself so excited! Will try to keep posting as things progress but we will see, the next time I post I may have my precious baby boy!
LOVE!
Ash

35 Weeks 4 Days

I officially love my new doctor. He actually remembers things from one appointment to the next. I had another ultrasound yesterday, found out the baby weighs a whole 5 lbs and 9 ozs!! I am so excited I don't think I can have any mucous plug left lol I have been loosing it in little bits for over a week. I have a doctor appointment tomorrow with the nurse practioner I plan on asking if I can be induced at 38 weeks. Well the first day after Christmas that the doc is on call anywway. The heartburn which I didn't think could get anyworse has! lol. And I now understand what they meant about crowded lungs and sore ribs. He is so long lol even though he is wedged deep in my pelvis his feet are high in my ribs lol.
We got the sheetrock up in the nursery and the whole room is white. We still have to paint it blue and put up the crown mold before we can put down the tile. The baby shower is the 18th and though I know it will suck I'm excited.

31 Weeks 6 Days

Things have been busy. The wedding was perfect! The dress fit fine with some alterations. We have been married over a month now. it seems we fight less after all the drama of the wedding was over. lol.
I changed doctors, I have my first appointment with the new one on the 20th. I'm not sure if I'll like him but since I am now using Wesley I am open to change. We done a 4-D ultrasound monday, it was amazing. Aiden looks just like his daddy, even though he won't admit it. I find myself counting down even to the days now ( 8 weeks 1 day). I keep telling myself if it 38 weeks I have not dialated any I am asking for an induction. At the same time every week I research babies who were born at that stage and see how well they done. I am worried about him coming early. He stays so low in my uterus that sometimes it feels as though he is just barely in there. lol.
We have officially gotten a start on the nursery. Ben now realizes why I wanted it started then. We have 8 weeks (10 max) and we still need sheet rock for the ceiling, the floor layed down, finish painting, move the furniture in, and then evaluate and buy the finishing touches. Which if we had the money of the supplies would be no problem but with him being unemployed it makes it so hard.
I have been planning to take some maternity pictures, I think I can talk him into it today. I am going to shower and dress up then take a walk with him and the camera. If he doesn't take the ones I want I am prepared to call in Grandmama she has been alot more realistic and understanding lately. Plus she is really getting into photography.
Well I hope I get the chance to write more sooner than later.

Figured It Out

I finally understand how I am "6 months" yet due in Jan!!! I am in the sixth month, not six full months yet, officially I am like 5 months 3 weeks. YAY! lol.
I have picked out the wedding cake!


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I have another appointment with the OB/GYN the 23rd more then

Wedding Dress

So... My wedding dress came in today and, well I'm glad we ordered early. It is huge! I am going to have to double in size or either take it in like 4 inches. I mean the wedding is in 24 days. Up until now it felt like it was all going okay like on schedule. Now this is like a major setback. We still need one more bridesmaid dress made, the cake made, the catering plans finished, the bouquets made, and the final decorations to come in. I don't know what to do, I feel so overwhelmed and I don't even think about the wedding often, all I can focus on is that unfinished room that will be a nursery in a few months.
Things are looking up in that direction though, Tiffany and Brian should be out or in the process of being out by the 6th. Then we need one more piece of sheetrock and some sheetrock mud. I have my paint colors picked out and I'm going to show grandmama my plans this afternoon. I have most of the baby stuff bought, I still need a playpen, swing, and bouncer. I also need to buy some more socks and mittens that are newborn sized. Then I need bottles, pacifiers, a humidifier, thermometer, tylenol, mylicon, cotton balls, alcohol, a brush, nail clips, you know essential little things. And of course diapers. But I think it's going better.
I found out I have to give myself a shot everyday, I will start that today. I was positive for thrombosis or something like that. It is when I form micro blood clots which are not at all harmful to me but because the baby is so small it can be fatal to him. It doesn't make sense to me but if it's for the baby I'll do it. The medicine if I didn't have medicaid would cost us over a thousand dollars a month!
But that's about all that's going on.

Peace and Love
Ash

Sick 20 Weeks

I went to the doctor Friday, I thought I was dying. But according to him it's just a bad cold, and it is getting better with the Claritin-D and Robitussin DM. Aiden has been really active lately which makes me feel so much better since he wasn't being as active when i first got sick. I can't wait for the 4-D ultrasound. It's still about 2 months away. I think as long as I have something big to look forward to in the nearer future the time goes faster.
The wedding plans have changed again but we are almost set in stone. The maid of honor dress is finished and the bridesmaid dress will be done soon after the fabric comes in. My dress should be here soon, it was put in the mail Monday! We have most of the decorations and essentials the only really big things left to do are to buy Ben's ring, file for the license, get shoes, and white shirts and khaki pants. I mean of course the cake isn't finished but I have picked out which one I want. We decided to have it inside in front of the fire place.
The baby stuff is coming along too, we got the car seat. We had some problems fitting it in the car but I think it's better now. We got the car seat, bedding, and most of the clothes we need. Grandmama even has a crib on layaway. And we got a bassinet it was a great deal we saw one at a 2nd hand shop for 40 dollars then found one at Wal Mart for 45 dollars. I need to get more bottles, pacifiers, socks, mittens, swaddlers, diapers, wipes, infant medicine, and a few other little things like alcohol and cotton balls.
I am so excited, I wish I could win like 1000000 dollars and get everything and then the time would go faster.


Peace and Love,
Ash

18 Week Ultrasound Coming Up

There is 3 more days until my 18 week ultrasound is coming up. Because of the complications with the last pregnancy and the chromosonal defect found, Dr. Glaze set me up an appointment in Jackson with Dr. Perry. He isn't a bad doctor, and I'm greatful for the chance to have a very high tech ultrasound done, but I think it is going to cause me more stress than I have already been going through. I already can't feel the baby as much, or so I'm convincing myself. I think that place will always be associated with doom for me hopefully after a good healthy pregnancy I won't have to go back there.

On the brighter side I will most likely find out the sex of the baby. I personally think it's a boy but Ben thinks it's a girl along with his mama and Alex. We have already chosen our names and will love it no matter what of course. We decided on Madison Emmaline for a girl, and Aiden Glenn for a boy. I think that having a boy would help me heal from losing Joseph, no he would never replace my first child but it would help having that experience of raising a boy first. Or so I think.

The wedding is moving ever closer, a little over a month now. We ordered my dress. The ring bearer's pillow and flower girl basket came in. I have my tiara and our toasting glasses. I also have the guest book and pen. Really all thats left to get is the cake, the bridesmaid dresses maid (they have been ordered), the outfits for the grooms men (still needing to figure out who the other one will be), the flowers, and the arch. It's not so bad now that I know the dress is ordered I am obsessing over them in order of importance. lol. We have yet to get our blood work which is nessecary to file for marriage but I am demanding it is done next week.

Ben worries me sometimes, he isn't who he used to be. I used to have fun around him, now maybe it's just being pregnant and the hormones but it's like he turning into a child. It makes me wonder if he's regretting making a life with me. I would never force him to stay with me, I love him too much to make him unhappy, but he would never tell me. Oh well, I guess I'll see how things work out.

Good Pizza and A Maid of Honor

Everyone in the world should try dominos!! Their new online thing is amazing! You can customize your pizza exactly how you want it. It's kinda awkward on the phone ordering a pizza then hearing the price and having to cancel but this is amazingly easy. Try it! Even if you aren't wanting a pizza just play with it. I looked through the coupons and found 2 medium two toppings for 13.99 I then personalized them. My fiance's was hand tossed with marinara and sausage and pepperoni. Mine on the other hand was hand tossed with white sauce with pepperoni and ham! The only down fall is that they need to work on the credit part when I tried to run my card it kept declining it so I had to make a quick run to an ATM. After you process your order and it has been placed, it tell you when the person starts preparing your order even who it is! You can then see when they put it in the oven take it out, put it in a box and send it out to deliver or have it ready for pick up!


To make my day even better Alex agreed to be my maid of honor! And I found the cutest dress on sale for only 40 dollars!! She is coming over later to see what she thinks and get measured! I figure she can come down with grandmama and grandaddy and stay at the house. The night before that way its not too much trouble for her. I can't believe things are coming together for the wedding, now if only the baby stuff would do the same.

Peace and Love
ASh

Wedding Drama

I am so ready to get away from here. I've been staying with my mom for 6 days now and can't leave until tomorrow. I can not stand my grandmama she has turned into a total bitch. I can't say anything to her or around her with out hearing her opinion no matter how much I don't care. I am looking for a wedding dress and she just keeps telling me that i won't be able to fit in them and I know this. I am planning on buying a plus size dress but I'm looking for ideas on regular size sites. Most of these sites have a plus size option on the dresses, just because the model is tiny doesn't mean that's the only size it comes in. I found one that I really like and for once she was optimistic and tried helping look for a pattern even volunteering to make it but when we started looking she kept complaining about how she wasn't going to put all that detail in. I mean if she doesn't want to do it then why volunteer. Then I tell her I want the date to be in August and she freaks out telling me it's going to be too hot, because my original plans were to have an outside ceremony. When I tell her I changed my plans, that I plan to rent out the community center by our house. She kept on, telling me how it was going to even hotter than today. Now I'm just so pissed I don't wanna be around anyone. And I'm even starting to dread my wedding, this is supposed to be something that I'll remember for the rest of my life I shouldn't want to cancel or not include my family. I don't know what to do.



I guess I'll just sleep for now and maybe it'll be better later.



Peace .\/,,

Ash