Sick 20 Weeks

I went to the doctor Friday, I thought I was dying. But according to him it's just a bad cold, and it is getting better with the Claritin-D and Robitussin DM. Aiden has been really active lately which makes me feel so much better since he wasn't being as active when i first got sick. I can't wait for the 4-D ultrasound. It's still about 2 months away. I think as long as I have something big to look forward to in the nearer future the time goes faster.
The wedding plans have changed again but we are almost set in stone. The maid of honor dress is finished and the bridesmaid dress will be done soon after the fabric comes in. My dress should be here soon, it was put in the mail Monday! We have most of the decorations and essentials the only really big things left to do are to buy Ben's ring, file for the license, get shoes, and white shirts and khaki pants. I mean of course the cake isn't finished but I have picked out which one I want. We decided to have it inside in front of the fire place.
The baby stuff is coming along too, we got the car seat. We had some problems fitting it in the car but I think it's better now. We got the car seat, bedding, and most of the clothes we need. Grandmama even has a crib on layaway. And we got a bassinet it was a great deal we saw one at a 2nd hand shop for 40 dollars then found one at Wal Mart for 45 dollars. I need to get more bottles, pacifiers, socks, mittens, swaddlers, diapers, wipes, infant medicine, and a few other little things like alcohol and cotton balls.
I am so excited, I wish I could win like 1000000 dollars and get everything and then the time would go faster.


Peace and Love,
Ash

18 Week Ultrasound Coming Up

There is 3 more days until my 18 week ultrasound is coming up. Because of the complications with the last pregnancy and the chromosonal defect found, Dr. Glaze set me up an appointment in Jackson with Dr. Perry. He isn't a bad doctor, and I'm greatful for the chance to have a very high tech ultrasound done, but I think it is going to cause me more stress than I have already been going through. I already can't feel the baby as much, or so I'm convincing myself. I think that place will always be associated with doom for me hopefully after a good healthy pregnancy I won't have to go back there.

On the brighter side I will most likely find out the sex of the baby. I personally think it's a boy but Ben thinks it's a girl along with his mama and Alex. We have already chosen our names and will love it no matter what of course. We decided on Madison Emmaline for a girl, and Aiden Glenn for a boy. I think that having a boy would help me heal from losing Joseph, no he would never replace my first child but it would help having that experience of raising a boy first. Or so I think.

The wedding is moving ever closer, a little over a month now. We ordered my dress. The ring bearer's pillow and flower girl basket came in. I have my tiara and our toasting glasses. I also have the guest book and pen. Really all thats left to get is the cake, the bridesmaid dresses maid (they have been ordered), the outfits for the grooms men (still needing to figure out who the other one will be), the flowers, and the arch. It's not so bad now that I know the dress is ordered I am obsessing over them in order of importance. lol. We have yet to get our blood work which is nessecary to file for marriage but I am demanding it is done next week.

Ben worries me sometimes, he isn't who he used to be. I used to have fun around him, now maybe it's just being pregnant and the hormones but it's like he turning into a child. It makes me wonder if he's regretting making a life with me. I would never force him to stay with me, I love him too much to make him unhappy, but he would never tell me. Oh well, I guess I'll see how things work out.

Good Pizza and A Maid of Honor

Everyone in the world should try dominos!! Their new online thing is amazing! You can customize your pizza exactly how you want it. It's kinda awkward on the phone ordering a pizza then hearing the price and having to cancel but this is amazingly easy. Try it! Even if you aren't wanting a pizza just play with it. I looked through the coupons and found 2 medium two toppings for 13.99 I then personalized them. My fiance's was hand tossed with marinara and sausage and pepperoni. Mine on the other hand was hand tossed with white sauce with pepperoni and ham! The only down fall is that they need to work on the credit part when I tried to run my card it kept declining it so I had to make a quick run to an ATM. After you process your order and it has been placed, it tell you when the person starts preparing your order even who it is! You can then see when they put it in the oven take it out, put it in a box and send it out to deliver or have it ready for pick up!


To make my day even better Alex agreed to be my maid of honor! And I found the cutest dress on sale for only 40 dollars!! She is coming over later to see what she thinks and get measured! I figure she can come down with grandmama and grandaddy and stay at the house. The night before that way its not too much trouble for her. I can't believe things are coming together for the wedding, now if only the baby stuff would do the same.

Peace and Love
ASh

Wedding Drama

I am so ready to get away from here. I've been staying with my mom for 6 days now and can't leave until tomorrow. I can not stand my grandmama she has turned into a total bitch. I can't say anything to her or around her with out hearing her opinion no matter how much I don't care. I am looking for a wedding dress and she just keeps telling me that i won't be able to fit in them and I know this. I am planning on buying a plus size dress but I'm looking for ideas on regular size sites. Most of these sites have a plus size option on the dresses, just because the model is tiny doesn't mean that's the only size it comes in. I found one that I really like and for once she was optimistic and tried helping look for a pattern even volunteering to make it but when we started looking she kept complaining about how she wasn't going to put all that detail in. I mean if she doesn't want to do it then why volunteer. Then I tell her I want the date to be in August and she freaks out telling me it's going to be too hot, because my original plans were to have an outside ceremony. When I tell her I changed my plans, that I plan to rent out the community center by our house. She kept on, telling me how it was going to even hotter than today. Now I'm just so pissed I don't wanna be around anyone. And I'm even starting to dread my wedding, this is supposed to be something that I'll remember for the rest of my life I shouldn't want to cancel or not include my family. I don't know what to do.



I guess I'll just sleep for now and maybe it'll be better later.



Peace .\/,,

Ash